Behavior as a Form of Communication

[MUSIC PLAYING] Children's behavior or "misbehavior" or "bad behavior" is one of the most divisive issues between schools and families. It really gets the family where they live, because it's how their daily lives are affected by behaviors of their child. It's the fear of getting that call from the school, saying your child just bit somebody, come and get your kid. Or we're taking him out of class. There's so many difficult issues that come up around a child's behavior. And it's one that families just dread, and I imagine schools do too. But I've come to think that everybody taking a step back, and looking at this, and thinking about the ways we talk about behavior can be so helpful. So the big lesson that came to me in midway through my child's teen years-- such a revelation. My child is not verbal. He uses not words, but many other ways of communicating very effectively. And so somebody taught me just the simple idea that behavior is communication. And that changed the lens completely for the way I saw my son, and then the way I talked about him with everybody in his life. So any school person, any professional, any attendant care person that's in our lives has to understand that their job is to tune into his behavior, and recognize that as his best way of telling us I'm happy, I'm sad, I want this, I don't want that, I hate this situation, I love this situation, I'm ready, I'm not, all the things that we all need to be able to express all the time in our lives.